My Inner Child is Growing Up

I used to tell everyone that while I was forty-something on the outside, I was 14 years old on the inside. Lately I find myself doing some things that signal some major changes are underway.

1. I find myself muting TV Commercials. My Dad (who is in his eighties) used to do this quite often. I found it mildly amusing and somewhat eccentric - until I became tired of the same old voices trying to get me to buy their products or services. It is somehow comforting (empowering?) to just shut off the sound - to tune out. After all, these days it seems that unless you're looking for a medication with potential side effects worse than the illness the medication pretends to alleviate, there's not too much to buy.

2. I find myself talking to the TV. Yes, I know it can't hear me. But it's so frustrating to watch 24 hour "news" when 23.5 hours is spent speculating about what might happen, could happen and only 30 minutes is spent on what IS happening. What's with all the political speculation on who's running for President in 2008? Don't we have issues that need to be addressed NOW? Do we waste the next 2 years while more people die in Iraq and Darfur, while we continue to be addicted to middle eastern oil, while 40 million of us go without healthcare, while our status in the World continues to erode, while our education system crumbles, while Political ethics continues to be an oxymoron, whil;e the Earth continues to warm, while Homeland Security continues to be a priority, but open borders do not?

3. I'm tired of people trying to scare me. Whether it's the local 6 o'clock news telling me about deadly escalators, why I can't eat spinich (or was that lettuce?), what the Homeland Security threat color of the day is or whether killer bees are coming to get me. I'm too busy to worry about terrorist threats. I can't waste my time on deadly trans fat. I have the upcoming bird flu pandemic to worry about!

4. Is it me or do "Talk Shows" do more shouting than talking? It seems to me that for an exchange of ideas to occur, one needs to listen to a response. More and more, the news show hosts pose a question or state an opinion, wait 3 seconds, then talk over their guest! I am especially frustrated with the 4 person split-screen format when everone talks at once. I'm barely interested enough to listen to one person that to pay attention to four all talking simultaneously!

5. The butchering of the english language is beginning to bother me. I think it began with the phrase "You've got mail." Whatever happened to "You have mail"? While we're on the subject, I think that any TV interview with any professional or college athlete should include closed captioning. I'm also tired of words like "spin", unless it describes rotation. "Spin" is nothing more that "lie" or intentionally misprepresenting the facts in support of one's belief. Like "We're winning in Iraq" or we may recoomend a troop "surge" when we really mean escallate troop levels for an undetermined amount of time.

Okay. I hereby declare myself Andy Rooney.